Waiting to inseminate: take two
I took my last dose of clomid Sunday. Whoo baby did the hormones hit me hard this time. And I thought I was doing so well, too! The first three days were a breeze. Then the weekend came. And they flattened me. And what sucked was this was the last big weekend working on our kitchen and I was so depressed. So sad. So incapable of dealing with anything. Here I should have been happy and exited that the kitchen was getting finished and I was postively glum. Here I should have been so grateful to my parents and I was barely civil. Not that I was mean, but I just couldn't make conversation or get excited about anything. I could tell they were feeling bad, and that just made me feel worse.
On the good side, though, I do seem to have recovered from the sideffects quicker than last month. It's probably helped that I finally stopped bleeding. Or it could be that it's Kristin's turn to need emotional support, and so I've pulled myself together.
See, Kristin's mom has had a series of strokes that started on Sunday. Kristin's mom lives in Houston. It looks like Kristin and Julia will be flying to Houston Wednesday afternoon. Kristin hopes to be back Friday, but could stay all the way through Monday. I can't go for two reasons. 1) I don't have enough leave at work. and 2) I'm on track to ovulate on Friday. Which means that I'll be doing this month's inseminations on my own.
I don't really want to talk too much about the situation with Kristin's mother. But I guess I just wanted to let you guys know what is going on, because it's really going to affect this cycle for me. This is not how I wanted our child to be concieved. But I also want this cycle to work because the clomid is really messing with me. And I'm very nervous about doing the inseminations by myself. I'm hoping I can keep myself in the present. I know that I sound selfish right now, and really, I am VERY supportive of Kristin going to Houston. I want her to go. I just wish I wasn't ovulating this week. I just wish her mother were ok. I hope she gets better, and that Kristin's trip isn't as completely emotionally draining for her that I think it will be, and that the inseminations work this cycle so if I'm an emotional wreck next month it'll be because I'm pregnant and hormonal, and not because I'm hopped up on artifical hormones because my body doesn't work right.
On the good side, though, I do seem to have recovered from the sideffects quicker than last month. It's probably helped that I finally stopped bleeding. Or it could be that it's Kristin's turn to need emotional support, and so I've pulled myself together.
See, Kristin's mom has had a series of strokes that started on Sunday. Kristin's mom lives in Houston. It looks like Kristin and Julia will be flying to Houston Wednesday afternoon. Kristin hopes to be back Friday, but could stay all the way through Monday. I can't go for two reasons. 1) I don't have enough leave at work. and 2) I'm on track to ovulate on Friday. Which means that I'll be doing this month's inseminations on my own.
I don't really want to talk too much about the situation with Kristin's mother. But I guess I just wanted to let you guys know what is going on, because it's really going to affect this cycle for me. This is not how I wanted our child to be concieved. But I also want this cycle to work because the clomid is really messing with me. And I'm very nervous about doing the inseminations by myself. I'm hoping I can keep myself in the present. I know that I sound selfish right now, and really, I am VERY supportive of Kristin going to Houston. I want her to go. I just wish I wasn't ovulating this week. I just wish her mother were ok. I hope she gets better, and that Kristin's trip isn't as completely emotionally draining for her that I think it will be, and that the inseminations work this cycle so if I'm an emotional wreck next month it'll be because I'm pregnant and hormonal, and not because I'm hopped up on artifical hormones because my body doesn't work right.
posted by Trista at 9:10 AM
5 Comments:
Good luck with everything. I'm sorry that Kristen's mom is so sick and that the timing is so rotten for the two of you.
Insems on your own aren't really so bad. At least they give you total license to have it be all about you.
I am so so sorry to hear about Kristen's Mom. I will pray that a good recovery is already under way.
Are you doing home or RE insems?
I'm doing home insems with fresh sperm. Semen, actually. We've only done it with me once before and I had a couple of bad moments that Kristin helped me through. I'll be ok, but I'll miss her.
Trista, I'm sending positive vibes your way. I hope Kristen's mother improves quickly, and that things go well with the insemination.
My WONDERFUL doctor took Clomid herself when trying to concieve her second child and she warned us that it does make you depressed. She said that her SIL went through the same thing. Hang in there.
As for the self-insems, I know you'll get through it okay because it's important. It's amazing how we humans have the capacity to take on HUGE burdens and still be okay. You're strong!
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