Mind Fuck
It doesn't matter if you KNOW that you didn't ovulate and thus there is no possible way you could be pregnant. If your body had sperm in it then some part of your brain is going to be convinced that you're pregnant.
I'm sitting here waiting for red. Faint, faint, faint spotting for the last 2 days. Today's CD25, and I could have started anytime the last 5 days. The fact that I haven't is a good sign that my body's getting better even if it's not quite on track yet.
So maybe I did ovulate even though I never got a clear positive on the opk. Or had any eggwhite cm... nah.
But here I sit. The last week or so I have felt nauseated looking at or thinking about certain foods. Any kind of meat, actually. The look and smell of meat -- cooking or raw -- makes me want to hurl. So, some small part of my brain starts screaming, "morning sickness! morning sickness! You're pregnant!" and then I get a little rush of excitement. And then I realize that I really don't like meat to start with so it wouldn't take much to induce nausea.
It's just all so tiresome.
Just to let you all know where I am. Waiting for AF. Battling that futile hope. Blah blah blah.
I'm sitting here waiting for red. Faint, faint, faint spotting for the last 2 days. Today's CD25, and I could have started anytime the last 5 days. The fact that I haven't is a good sign that my body's getting better even if it's not quite on track yet.
So maybe I did ovulate even though I never got a clear positive on the opk. Or had any eggwhite cm... nah.
But here I sit. The last week or so I have felt nauseated looking at or thinking about certain foods. Any kind of meat, actually. The look and smell of meat -- cooking or raw -- makes me want to hurl. So, some small part of my brain starts screaming, "morning sickness! morning sickness! You're pregnant!" and then I get a little rush of excitement. And then I realize that I really don't like meat to start with so it wouldn't take much to induce nausea.
It's just all so tiresome.
Just to let you all know where I am. Waiting for AF. Battling that futile hope. Blah blah blah.
posted by Trista at 8:27 AM
5 Comments:
Oh gosh I remember those days. For years and years every month between possible ovulation and the arrival of my damned period, I convinced myself I was pregnant. Got nauseated at certain smells, was all weepy, and anything else that can be associated with signs of pregnancy. I used to joke (not so jokingly) that I should buy stock in the companies that make home pregnancy tests. I also defined a home pregnancy test as something to take to make my period start. You have my complete sympathies!!
Doesn't it suck eggs? You get to feel pregnant every month but NOT be. It really is the world's biggest mind fuck. Hang in there. At least it sounds like your body is starting to behave itself and that's REALLY good.
well it is still possible! You had some spermies and maybe you had an egg.
I know it is horrible Pollyanna syndrome - but heck, maybe it is morning sickness...
:)
Ack. Thinking of you, dear.
Shit. That sucks. And if we are going to have phantom pregnancy symptoms, why can't the symptoms be better, like feeling fabulous, wanting to sing in public, or having great self esteem?
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