As requested: The Ritual (If you laugh I'll cry)

Well, it had been a long time since I did any ceremonial magic. Normally I just sit before my altar and set my intention. I use a focus object (stone or figurine or piece of paper or candle) to serve as a physical reminder of what my energy is busy accomplishing, but other than that there's no hoohaa. In the past I have been capable of making amazing situations manifest. But this last year I've felt a little, well, powerless. Though Julia arrived this year, and my relationship with Kristin and deepened and matured, personally this has been a huge year of loss for me. So many dreams have slipped through my fingers. So many paths that I thought I'd be walking have been barred. So my magic has slipped into disuse. My altar has gotten covered in dust. I'm not even sure WHERE my tarot cards are at the moment. In such a situation, I actually think that a good piece of ceremonial magic is a necessary thing. There's nothing like the rigor of creating a ceremony that involves other people to snap you back to attention... It's too easy when sitting in front of your altar to think you're creating magic when really you're thinking about how your knees are sore and your thighs are falling asleep and did you look fat in that dress last night and no one bothered to tell you? But when you're doing something that involves other people, even if you're casual and silly, you're still forced into a greater attention toward intent. At least, that's what I think.

Anyway. What I did. I cast a circle in our dining room. I decided on the dining room because I wanted Julia present, but I didn't want her crawling to the candles and lighting herself and the house on fire. So I wanted her in her high chair. At each of the cardinal points I placed a representative of the element: a polished chunk of marble for Earth in the North; a lit smudge stick in the East for Air; A red candle in the South for Fire; and a small shell full of salt water in the West for Water. Nyles smudged the circle and ourselves, and I sprinked salt water around the circle as well. Once we were smudged and the circle drawn in salt water, I called the quarters (aloud, normally I call them silently, but with other people present I wanted to vocalize my calling) one at a time (with the exception of the East, because Nyles wanted to call the East) lit a 5th candle for Spirit, and closed the circle. We all (except Julia) took a sip of some damiana liquor that we concecrated in the ceremony two years ago to call Julia. Two years ago, I spent a great deal of time and energy infusing the liquor with fertility and motility and passion. For the three of us, and particularly for Kristin and I, just looking at the bottle brings up images and feelings of potency and fertility. Pulling that little bottle out, dusting it off, and letting its contents touch our tongues is a powerful reminder of intent.

After imbibing, I used some of the liquor and some oils to anoint our fertility goddess statue. We touched her belly and breasts and asked her to bless us with a child.

Then it was time to create our focus. I had dropped the jade frog down Julia's onesie so it could absorb her energy while we did the ceremony. Now Nyles and Kristin took the pieces that they had chosen to represent themselves and I took a small box made out of a shell cut in half and hinged. The box is oval and round, it reminds me of a womb. Kristin and Nyles grounded themselves and begain raising energy to focus on their, um, foci, pouring their intentions and their contributions into the inanimate stones. I focued on the shell box, visualizing it as my womb, creating a welcoming and nurturing place for the spirit to reside. When enough energy had been gathered, Kristin and Nyles placed their pieces into my box (he he he) and I retrieved the jade frog from Julia (who was being very good during all this) and we sealed the "womb" up.

Now, having created a safe space for the spirit to reside, we invited the spirit to join us, to hang around us until we get the physical stuff right. We told the spirit how much we would love it, what kind of life we would try to give it, how happy we would be to have it in our family.

Then I thanked the quarters for coming, opened the circle, and took the bottle, the goddess, and the womb to the altar and set them in place with some more intention.

Then we had dinner.

When we did a ceremony like this two years ago, the arrival of Julia's spirit was noticable. Candles flickered in a breeze that wasn't there. We could feel a presence like a change in the atmospheric pressure. This time we didn't feel anything like that. But, it could be that the spirit is already with us and we've gotten used to the pressure of it. Kristin and I have felt very palpably that there is another child waiting for us to get the physical stuff together. I'm hoping that's the case, and that we didn't feel a new spirit join us because there is none looking to us for a family...